Lots Hell Bent: Take two

Well I rewrote the writing for this piece of art tonight. I always struggle with this notion of whether to rhyme or not to rhyme. Whatever the case I think I like the rhythm better. Let me know what you all think.

Assuming a place where our time never ends, us with our family and all of our friends, but without pain or death or undesirable change, this it seems, is paradise, no lives rearrange. And we are on Holiday, the feast of our famine, the Will to Power, Thanksgiving Heaven. But considering the nature of our depravity, how between our action and will lies great disparity, this eternity of changeless now must be known, not as the heaven above but the hell below. Salvation from without must thus be sent, because sad as it is, we together, all and alone are a little less than God but Lot’s hell bent.